Not Just This Token
by Pru.Clearwater
Summary: In Purgatory, Dean discovers something Castiel has kept hidden. Rated K for safety. Can be considered pre-Destiel if one leans slightly to the left whilst balancing on the balls of ones feet and squinting a little. Word Count: 952


**Disclaimer:** I do not now, nor will I ever in the future, own Supernatural. I just take creative license to it when I should be sleeping.

**Not Just This Token**

For the first time since realizing where they were, Dean took a moment to relax. He leaned against the cave wall, bone weary and thirsty as hell. He rolled his head slightly to the left and spied Castiel near the cave entrance. He had stripped off his coat and was pulling his white scrub top over his head. Both were soaked through.

In the flickering light of the fire, Dean's eyes caught a glint of metal low against the angel's chest, just above his sternum. He gasped as he recognized what it was.

"Cas, is that—?" He pushed himself up along the wall and stood. He took a tentative step forward, not really believing.

Something in Dean's voice made Cas pause. He looked down at where Dean's eyes rested. Sighing, he pulled his wet shirt back down over his chest but slowly reached in the neck and drew out a bronze amulet on a long cord. He cradled it in his palm as if it was one of his precious bees.

"I had to put it on a different necklace. When Daphne found me, it—the one you had—burnt up." He seemed to suddenly remember something and it made him chuckle in the back of his throat. He sounded rueful.

Dean tried to take a deep breath to relax his firing heart, but his chest was too tight and it felt like knives in his lungs. "How? You… you've had it this whole time?"

"I couldn't let you throw it away, even though at the time I couldn't figure out why." He ran a finger across the face of the amulet. "Now I know, though. I stole it, Dean. The first thing I ever took for myself. It was something that you loved; something a brother had given you. I envied you that. Not just this token, but the affection behind it. For the first time, I realized my family didn't care about me—not even enough to listen to me. But you—" He shook his head. "You had a brother willing to die for you—to give his very soul."

Dean was silent as he watched the angel gaze lovingly at the amulet. Then Castiel looked up and fixed tired eyes on Dean's.

"Do you want it back, Dean?"

Dean's mouth pinched tightly closed, but he swallowed and forced himself to speak. "Yes."

His voice was rougher than he'd intended, and the way Cas' eyes darkened with sadness sent another blade through Dean's chest. Cas just nodded, though, and lifted the cord up and over his neck. He held it out and Dean quickly snatched it from him.

With a depressed exhalation, Castiel turned away and headed toward the fire, where he sat with his knees pulled tightly against his chest, his back to Dean.

For a moment, Dean was back, experiencing every moment Castiel had turned his back on him. Until finally, they were standing in a garage, not moments after Cas had once again saved Dean's life..

No. No, then it had been Dean who'd turned his back on Cas.

The sharp thing that had been burrowing in his chest relaxed enough to let him take a deep breath. Scrubbing his hands over his face, he walked back toward the fire and sat down next to Cas. He swallowed as their shoulders connected.

"Cas?"

"Yes, Dean?" He kept his gaze trained on the fire.

"You know, you don't get to choose who your family is."

Cas rested his chin on his knees. When he spoke, his voice was the same—the exact same as the angel who'd first spoke to him—had told him that he was the one who'd 'gripped him tight' and pulled his ass out of Hell. Dean was having a hard time reconciling that voice to the hunched up angel next to him. "I know that, Dean."

"Except—" Dean smiled. "Except when you do."

Castiel lifted his head and faced Dean, his eyes uncomprehending and frustrated in such a familiar way that Dean suddenly felt ___right, _like he was exactly where he was supposed to be at that exact moment. It just kind of sucked where ___there _was.

Dean held the pendant out in front of the angel. "Cas, I want you to have this. You see, my little brother gave it to me a long time ago. I thought it was because he was mad at our dad, but that wasn't it. He gave it to me because he was happy. Happy that I was his brother, no matter how often we didn't get along."

"I don't understand, Dean. Why would you take it only to give it back?"

"Because, you child, it was a gift. And I want it to stay a gift. This time, from ___me _to ___you_. 'Cause you're family, Cas, and I actually ___am _happy to have you."

After a moment that felt like another eternity in that cold corner of Purgatory, Castiel reached out a tentative hand and plucked the cord from Dean's fingers. He smiled in quiet happiness as he pulled it back over his head, his hand resting over it as it lay once more against his chest. "A gift. From a brother."

Dean's heart gave him a kick, but he ignored it and draped his arm around Cas' shoulders, pulling him in for a quick hug. Then he let his arm drop and cleared his throat. "Okay, well, you should probably get out of that shirt until it dries. Don't want you to catch a chill or anything."

Cas beamed up at him as Dean stood. "I won't get cold, Dean," he promised, and judging by the warmth he saw in Cas' eyes, Dean could very well believe it was true.

-_le __fin-_

**Author's Note:** This was supposed to be just a quick drabble to get the juices flowing, but I liked it and turned it into a long (ish) kind of one-shot. This is also the first time I've published a fan-fic. Ever. So it hasn't been beta'd or anything. Please be gentle.


End file.
